Lost in the Job Hunt

No one warns you how strange it feels to stop doing what you’ve always done.

I read recently that around 5% of the UK population are currently looking for work. It felt strange knowing I was part of that statistic.

For those who don’t know, I’ve always been in hospitality until I was recently forced to bow out because of a back injury. Being in this position comes with such a mixed bag of feelings, most of which I absolutely wasn’t ready for.

Despite spending a large chunk of my life muttering “what is wrong with people”, I actually love people and I think I’ve been good in my roles. (Feels weird to toot my own horn like that!)

The truth is, I really don’t want to go back into hospitality, for so many reasons. But I don’t know what I’m meant to do next. I’ve never been academic. I scroll through job sites and just feel… lost. Most of the things that interest me require qualifications I don’t have. And the idea of going back into education without a clear direction — or any guarantee it would lead to something — feels terrifying.

So how does this work?

I can’t be the only one feeling this way. I want to work again, desperately. Apart from the obvious financial reasons, it’s about purpose, structure, feeling like myself. I’d never look down on anyone for not working, but I don’t give myself that same grace. I feel ashamed, and I find myself avoiding people just so I don’t have to explain my situation.

I know where my strengths lye. But right now, that doesn’t seem to be helping much.

How long will I be this lost for?

I’ve never seriously considered going travelling, or trying life somewhere new but suddenly, I’m the cliché who’s thinking about packing up and disappearing for a bit, just because my whole life has imploded and I’ve got no clue what the fuck I’m doing. It really does sound rather appealing.