Truns Out Rock Bottom Has a Physio Referral

A back injury, a bit of an identity crisis and a reluctant journey into healing, shame and surprisingly decent glutes.

12 Days In

It’s 12 days since I injured my back.
No work.

A new world of learning what my body is doing—what it likes, what it dislikes.
Physio. Rehab. Healing.

I’ll be completely honest, this whole year has felt like one big fuck up. I have to remind myself it hasn’t. It’s been eight months of steep learning. But part of that learning has come with some hard feelings—some of it spent unemployed, drifting, not knowing where I fit.

There have been weeks where I didn’t feel useful. Days where I felt completely disconnected from the world. That kind of loneliness gets into your bones. Shame, too. The kind that sits quietly in the background, whispering that you’re not good enough, that you don’t belong anywhere.

And now, with my back out of action, I’m being forced to stop again. To sit in it all. So now, as well as healing my body, I’m having to calm my mind.

Life is a funny thing. We’re a nation of planners—even the ones who say they aren’t. We all have a certain vision in our heads of how we think things are going to go. Truth is, none of us have a clue.

I find great comfort in believing there’s a higher being in charge of it all—but right now, I’m struggling to understand their motives, or how this year is going to end. motives and how this year is going to end.

But maybe that’s okay. Maybe not knowing is the point. Maybe this pause, this mess, this year that hasn’t gone “to plan” is doing something important beneath the surface.

I’m learning that rest isn’t the opposite of progress. That softness isn’t failure. That starting again doesn’t mean I’ve lost everything—it just means I get to build differently this time.

I am determined to find the positives in all of this. I will find my path again. My back will heal, I’ll know my body better than ever before—and let’s be honest, I’ll probably have a great arse from all the exercises I’ve got to do.

Maybe that’s not a fuck up at all. Maybe it’s a reset.

If you’ve made it this far—thank you. Honestly. I know this has been a bit of a ramble, but sometimes that’s just how life comes out.

If anything I’ve said has resonated with you, I’d really love to hear from you. Whether you’re healing, figuring things out, unemployed, overwhelmed, hopeful—or all of the above—you’re not on your own.

Here’s to messy resets, strong backs, and finding our way—even if it’s not in the way we expected.