What Happens When You Ban Me From Coffee for Four Days

A back injury, ADHD, and a caffeine ban walk into my life…

Three weeks. That’s how long I’ve been stuck at home with this back injury. And honestly? My brain has been busier than my body.

I’ve ricocheted from a wild writing phase (where I was convinced I was the next great literary genius) straight into full burnout where even typing “hi” felt impossible. Hello ADHD, thanks for making an appearance. Always the life of the party… if the party was on fire.

Then came the clear-out. I decided I have far too much useless crap at home. Highlights included discovering I somehow own enough beauty and skincare to open a small Boots. (Why do I have four half-used moisturisers? Who knows. Future me will probably buy a fifth.)

And then the real tragedy. Due to reasons I won’t go into, I had to stop drinking coffee. For four whole days. Doesn’t sound dramatic until you picture me, doctor on the phone, telling me the bad news while I look down at the cup already in my hand like I’m being told we’re breaking up. Pure grief.

I’m pleased to announce coffee and I are now reunited. My cup is sat lovingly beside me as I type, offering all the emotional support I could ever need. (Whiskey is still on the bench. We don’t talk about whiskey.)

So for now, it’s just me, my questionable spine, and my beloved espresso, trying to keep the existential crisis at bay.