1am Spirals

A love letter to insomnia, hormones, and delusion.

At 1am, I am spiralling.

There’s an insufferable pain behind my eyes that led me to try an eye mask (it hasn’t helped so far). My thoughts are darting in every direction, and I’m still totally delusional about a man.

But then I realise, the spiralling didn’t start at 1am. It’s been happening all day. I basically did nothing. Can I blame hormones? Maybe.

Why am I sat here yawning when neither my brain nor my body will let me sleep? I’m sure this counts as some form of torture.

I should’ve had that piece of toast I was longing for earlier.

Maybe I’ll finally fall asleep. Or maybe I’ll just keep thinking about toast.